OCD
A terrible thought that sits in my mind,
So toxic and poisonous it sends shivers down my spine,
What does it mean? Who does it make me?
My blood runs cold, convinced I'm crazy.
It tells me I don't know myself,
That I can't trust my core,
There's nothing for it but to worry some more.
And so it begins...
It's velvety voice whispers softly to me,
Just one more time and then you'll be free.
But freedom is a prison,
A trick of the light,
A promise that is broken,
A never ending fight.
The not knowing, the endless doubt,
A minute of certainty that trickles away -out,
The need to know, the all consuming fear,
The exhaustion that's there when night draws near.
Still morning dawns and it dances with glee,
Seductively purring just one more time and then you'll be free.
But freedom is a prison,
A trick of the light,
Shadows that dance,
You can never make it right.
It makes truths of lies,
It distorts thoughts into facts,
It's a long, hard battle to find your way back.
Hi Emily,
ReplyDeleteFab Poem, sometimes poems can get across so much when we might struggle to talk about about what is going on in our heads. It's a good way to express ourselves, and it's therapeutic, I believe, and it hopefully gives others an idea, a better understanding of what OCD can be like for people. Hope the CBT is going well, I am also receiving therapy for OCD. Cheers, Leanne
Hi Leanne,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment and your twitter post :) I totally agree that writing, in any form, can be really therapeutic, especially if there is an element of shame around how people are feeling and what they are thinking.
CBT is going well but is very challenging, I hope your therapy is giving you some improvements in your OCD too.
Emily x